How to Give the Perfect Toast

This little piece appeared in last Sunday’s Parade Magazine. I found these to be practical and witty tips for raising your glass with style, and thought I’d share them here in case you missed the post. They’re provided courtesy of Jon Lovett, a White House speechwriter and winner of the “Funniest Celebrity in Washington” contest.

So you have to give a toast. Oh, don’t be nervous. You’ll probably do great. It’s hard to fail completely. And even if you do, it’s not like people put awkward and embarrassing videos on the Internet, right? So what’s there to be nervous about? Besides, you’ve got a secret weapon: instructions from a magazine.

As a speechwriter, I’m often asked to help with toasts. And I’ve given a few myself. (In fact, if you’re east of the Mississippi and listen closely, you can still hear faint applause coming from the ballroom of a moderately priced catering hall on Long Island… because they haven’t stopped clapping yet.) Based on my experience, if you follow these simple rules, you should be fine.

1. Keep it short. There are no bad 10-second toasts. There are no good 10-minute toasts. No one in the whole recorded history of people talking has ever said, “I wish that speech were longer.”

2. …And sweet. This isn’t the Friars Club, and you aren’t Gilbert Gottfried. No insults. No vulgar stories. We know they’re funny. But your aunt doesn’t. Unless your aunt is Gilbert Gottfried.

3. Test it out. On actual human beings. A mirror won’t tell you that you aren’t as hilarious as you think you are. That’s what friends are for.

4. But most important. Be sincere. And specific. Your sister is more than totally awesome. She’s a role model, an inspiration, a friend who’s really been there for you. A toast is a chance to say what we always mean to say to the people we love. That’s why you’re up there.

5. And one more thing: See that champagne glass in your hand? The one you’re pointing at the guest of honor as you deliver the perfect toast? It doesn’t have to be the first glass you’ve held that night. But it better not be your seventh.

Cheers!

Bubbly choices imply cheer

Champagne is served for a tasting at the producer Ruinart's cellars in Reims, in France's Champagne country.

As 2010 draws to a close, many consumers are choosing to express their optimism for 2011 through a slightly better bottle of bubbly.

That’s a change from the past few years, when celebrants chose cheaper options for ringing in the new year.

“I think that they will go up to about $60,” said Joe O’Keefe, owner of Wine 101 in Wake Forest. “Anything above $60, it’s got to be a special occasion. But I’ve seen a lot of people who normally spend $10, $12 for a bottle of wine, and they’ll pick up that $30 bottle, no problem.”

It’s a welcome change for wine sellers, who have struggled in recent years as the economy has kept people from spending.

Still, Triangle merchants say that although consumers may be loosening up a little, they are still frugal in their buying decisions.

“They want the most for their money,” said Doug Diesing, owner of the Seaboard Wine Warehouse in Raleigh. “We’re seeing a lot of sales in alternative sparkling wines.”

Hot sellers for Diesing this year include beverages like prosecco and other sparkling wines that are not technically champagnes because they were not made in the Champagne region of France. Those types of items can cost $20 or $30 per bottle instead of hundreds of dollars for a bottle of some true champagnes.

“You get sort of the pleasures of drinking champagne at a fraction of the price,” he said.

Read more: http://www.newsobserver.com/2010/12/31/890886/bubbly-choices-imply-cheer.html#ixzz19jHlId1m